


Secret

by spouthparks



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, M/M, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 06:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18148331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spouthparks/pseuds/spouthparks
Summary: Stan has feelings for Kyle, and has since middle school. Kyle is dating Nichole, and Stan is having to come to terms with the fact that if he doesn't tell Kyle the truth soon, it will destroy their friendship.





	Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This is a vent fic I wrote based on a comic by one of my favorite artists crocodile-queen on tumblr!! please go check her out!! also, I'm not amazing at writing so this is by no means perfect, so please be gentle lol

Stan glances over from the corner of the room, a red solo cup in hand. All of his childhood friends are gathered around, dancing drunkenly to the music blaring from the speakers. Stan's eyes search the room until he finds Kyle, not too drunk, but buzzed slightly with his girlfriend Nichole draped across him, her fingers in his hair. Stan feels his face heat up. He takes another small sip of beer, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

Stan runs to the nearest bathroom in the house and vomits up all the pizza and beer he's had that night. Kyle notices the commotion and runs to Stan in the bathroom.  
"Dude, holy shit! Are you okay?"  
Stan wipes his mouth on his sleeve and shrugs Kyle off of him.  
"I'm fine." He can feel tears stinging the backs of his eyes.  
"Are you sure? Do you want me to drive you home?" Kyle asks, gently placing his hand on Stan's shoulder in concern.  
"No. I can drive myself home." He brushes Kyle's hand off and quickly turns away from his friend. He can't bring himself to look Kyle in the eye.  
"Stan, really, it's okay. If you're not good to drive home I can take you."  
Stan feels like he's going to scream.  
"Why would I do that?" he asks mockingly. "I don't want to make you leave and ruin all of your fun, do I?"  
Kyle looks at Stan in confusion.  
"What are you talking about, dude?"  
Stan loses it.  
"Oh, of course you don't know! You never know, do you? You're too fucking oblivious to understand anything I say!" Tears leave wet streaks down his face.  
Kyle is taken aback. Nichole joins him at his side. Stan feels like vomiting again.  
"Are you drunk?" Kyle asks, his voice soft as to not provoke Stan again.  
"Who fucking cares?" Stan replies. His words are laced with poison. "I'm going home." He turns around and walks out the front door, slamming it behind him.

Stan quietly enters his home, careful not to awaken his parents. He tiptoes up the stairs, into his bedroom. Quickly changing into clean pajamas, Stan crawls into his bed and pulls the covers over himself. He attempts to force back tears, but fails. He can't stand seeing Kyle and Nichole like that. He knows that Kyle is happy, but he can't help but be jealous.

His phone buzzes beside him. He flips it over, the screen illuminating the dark room.  
"New message from Kenny"  
Stan opens the message, prepared to answer the questions that inevitably await him.  
"Kenny: Dude, what was that? Are u drunk or smthn?"  
Stan sighs.  
"Stan: no"  
"Kenny: Then what was that blow up all about? Did something happen between u and Kyle?"  
"Stan: sort of"  
"Kenny: Did u guys get in a fight or smthn?"  
Stan takes a deep breath, and decides to tell Kenny the truth.  
"Stan: no"  
"Stan: but there's something else"  
"Kenny: what does that mean?"  
"Stan: I've had a crush on Kyle for years. I was going to confess my feelings the day he asked Nichole out. I assumed that it wouldn't last but it's 2 years later and I'm still in love with him and he'll never love me back. I guess I just snapped tonight."  
Kenny begins typing, then stops. Stan turns onto his back and sighs. His phone buzzes.  
"Kenny: wait, for real? dude, u have to tell him. u can't keep something like this from him. he's ur best friend"  
"Stan: You don't get it. I can't tell him. If I tell him it'll ruin everything. He'll hate me and he'll never talk to me again"  
"Kenny: Stan, ur overreacting. He's not gonna hate u. u have to be honest with him"  
"Stan: I can't."

Stan turns off his phone and puts it on his bedside table. It buzzes again. He ignores it and turns over to his other side and tries to force himself to sleep. 

Stan waits outside the school by his car. It's been nearly a month since the party, but Stan still help but think that Kyle is still confused and upset about what happened. He sees Kyle walking across the parking lot to meet him. He tenses up. 

The car ride is silent, except for the music from Stan's playlist playing softly through the speakers. He stops the car in front of Kyle's house, and waits for him to step out. He doesn't. Stan begins panicking.  
Did he get found out?  
Does Kyle know how he feels?  
Is he angry about it?  
"Stan, you've been acting really weird recently. Is everything okay?"  
Stan sighs in relief that Kyle doesn't know, but holds his breath again at the realization that he's going to have to answer Kyle's questions.  
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."  
Kyle looks away.  
"Okay... I just... I mean, it's been even before just recently. It's like, since I've started dating Nichole, you've been a completely different person."  
Stan's heart starts racing.  
He's going to ask, isn't he?  
"Oh, really? I uh..." Stan trails off.  
"Stan? Do you not like Nichole?"  
Stan turns to face Kyle.  
"What? No, that's not it at all! Nichole is... great!"  
"Okay..." Kyle seems conflicted. "It's just... you act... weird every time we plan to hang out and I ask to bring her along, and when we all go to lunch or whatever and she's with us."

Stan realizes what's going to happen. He needs to tell Kyle now. Keeping it from him is only hurting both of them.  
"Um, actually... there is a reason why I'm acting weird... " He feels Kyle looking at him, but he can't look up from his lap. He grips the steering wheel. He takes a deep breath and swallows hard.  
"I... have feelings for you..." He begins. He feels like he's going to pass out.  
"I've known since seventh grade. I wanted to tell you sooner, but..." A tear drops onto his jeans. "When I tried to, it was the day you asked Nichole out on your first date with her... so..." 

Kyle is in shock.  
"Oh my god... I... I had no idea, I..." He hesitates. Silence fills the air again for a moment. "I don't like boys... like that..." He says softly.  
Stan chokes on a sob.  
"I know."  
The car goes silent once again, this time for longer. Kyle finally breaks the silence.  
"I don't have anything against you I'm just... shocked. I never thought you..."  
Stan still doesn't say a word.  
"There's nothing wrong with you being gay, you know." Kyle starts. He sighs. "You're still my best friend, Stan."

Stan turns his head slightly and squeezes his eyes shut so that he doesn't have to see Kyle, even out of his peripheral vision. They both stay quiet. They sit in silence for what feels like another 30 minutes. Finally, Kyle speaks.  
"I uh... I should go... I'll see you later, I guess." He exits the car without another word. Stan waits a moment to make sure Kyle is in his house before he lifts his head. He wipes his eyes on his sleeve, starts the car, and begins driving home.


End file.
